I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Where is the hickey?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
