he told me I talked like a deaf person
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize