Nicole vs. Life
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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