You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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