so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize