That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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