you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
