we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
