Are we in a gay sports bar?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
