Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
