I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
