I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
