What did we do last night that was yellow?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
