hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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