rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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