I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
