Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
