Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
