ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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