Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
