I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
