Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
