State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
