Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
