Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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