Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
