she looked like the before picture.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
