So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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