Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
