P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's shark week go big or go home
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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