She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize