weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize