party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
