I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
