Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
