Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
