Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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