R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
