Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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