I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I wannas sexs uuuuu
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
