she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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