i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
