i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We got so high we made milksteak
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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