Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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