I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
