I didn't shave. On purpose
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
