We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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