How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
