I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
