the day after is always just damage control
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
