I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
