wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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