I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Randomize
