To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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