3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
