Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
