I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
