i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
