Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
