He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
