So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
