Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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