I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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