if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
