you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
